The Great Book of Dad Jokes- So Bad and Corny Jokes, They're Good! by Jim Hogan

Author:Jim Hogan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pronoun

- What do you get when you cross a squid and a gorilla?

- A stern lecture from the ethics committee!

- I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why!

- When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: “They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

- When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

- What do prisoners use to call each other?

- Cell phones!

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A Labracadabrador!

- Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

- She had bad blood!

- Soup or salad?

- I don’t want a SUPER salad, I want a regular salad.”

- The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

- Did you see they made round bales of hay illegal in Wisconsin?

- It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

- Blood type?

- Red!

- Sorry about your wait.

- Are you saying I’m fat?

- What do you call a fish with two knees?

- A “two-knee” fish!

- You know what the loudest pet you can get is?

- A trumpet!

- I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.

- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

- Frostbite!

- What do you call a deer with no eyes?

- No idea!

- What do you call a lonely cheese?

- Provolone!

- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

- Because the pee is silent!

- What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

-GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!

- What does an angry pepper do?

- It gets jalapeño your face!

- Why wasn’t the woman happy with the velcro she bought?

-It was a total ripoff!

- What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

- Bison!

- What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

- Nobody knows!

- Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop?

- Forever 21!

- You heard of that new band 1023MB?

- They’re good but they haven’t got a gig yet!

- Don’t forget to take a bucket to the concert.

- Why?

- To carry your tune!

- What did the grape do when stepped on?

- Let out a little wine!

- Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

- To get to the dark side!

- I’m not addicted to brake fluid. I can stop whenever I want

- I knew I shouldn’t have had the sea food. I’m feeling a little eel

- How was Rome split in two?

- With a pair of Ceasars!

- The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

- A scarecrow says, “This job isn’t for everyone, but hay, it’s in my jeans.”

- A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says “Make me one with everything.”

- What do you call a girl with one leg that’s shorter than the other?

- Ilene!

- I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words!

- What does a clock do when it’s hungry?

- It goes

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.